I am joining Univ. as grad student. This family rant back home, pressure to make good grade, disturbance or lack of concentration due to children at home is really worrying me. I really think I will fail in the exam and I will be kicked out from univ :( .

Hariyo,
US universities don't want you to ROTE everything but yes it does want you to study day to day. You are just joining so  relax and I am sure you will miss family, friends and all but slowly you will be used to it. Try to concentrate on studies and just let the idea  go away from your mind that missing family will disturb your study, rather think that it will make you more determined to finish your education and return home quick.
It's not only you who misses home, everybody misses it..
Best of Luck

I had met 2 grad students here in US who were in their 40s. They used to work at "Rastra Bank" back in Nepal and told me that Rastra Bank sponsored them to come here for their studies. They did not have to work here. They had kids and family back home and they were supposed to continue serving Rastra Bank once they complete their studies here.

Since they were already in 40s, they could not establish a decent social life here as all other Nepalese were in their mid 20s here.Then their problems started. One day i visited them to see how they were doing and they told me that they are having hard time concentrating and miss their families. I told them that things will be ok and i left.

Some 40 days later, i found through one of my friend that they quit studies and returned back home because they were too depressed to continue living here.

So, my advice is; If you are not keeping yourself busy, it would be hard for you to survive. So, get a job or engage yourself in volunteering. Stay with other roomates and start socializing.

 

I am joining Univ. as grad student. This family
rant back home, pressure to make good grade, disturbance or lack of
concentration due to children at home is really worrying me. I really
think I will fail in the exam and I will be kicked out from univ :( .

Hariyo,

There are a few things that you will have to work on while you are here in the US as a graduate student:

1) You will have to realize that you are here on a mission--a mission to get a better education and advance your career/life etc.

Sometimes, organizing yourself can be difficult because of so many things that are occurring in your life. I would start by making lists. You could start with academics and look at what goals you have in order to succeed in graduate school. Next could be family wise. What do you need to do in order to still be connected to your family. Maybe it is writing them an email every day, or updating a blog?


2) Your family is in your home country. They have a huge support system going on, so if you are worrying about your children, then relax! You have your family and friends supporting them right now.

3) Your own well being needs to be catered to as well. You are here by yourself and if you don't care of yourself, this whole thing falls through.

Go to the local Nepalese society events. A lot of places with Nepalese people tend to have gatherings. This could not only be refreshing to you, but also make you miss home a little less. I mean friends 10000 miles away are no substitute for family, but you are here for a reason, and you should try to achieve it, because a lot is at stake! I am sure you have given up a lot to come to the US, and well, you are giving up a lot by being here.

I agree with @dimag Kharab---start engaging yourself in your job and volunteering. There is a sheer joy that comes to us when we volunteer at a location. An example would be feeding at a local soup kitchen, or helping out with Habitat for Humanity. This will not only help you meet new people, but also give you a satisfaction at heart.

Also--eat right and work out. Us Nepalis tend to get carried away with our lives and really don't think about these things. In Nepal, we walk a lot, and do not really think about exercising. But walking, unless you are in a big city, is not really practical here. So we get tangled in a sedentary lifestyle. You will have to try finding a gym nearby to workout at. Or go for walks--explore! Eating healthy is also very important. Our diets in Nepal are very different than that of the US. This leads to unhealthy food choices (admit it--American food is more fattening). Try going to local grocery stores and buying fresh vegetables. Take up cooking! Ease your mind off grad school and worries a little bit, and just understand one thing: this is just a temporary thing and you will be reunited with your family.

If these things don't really work out---try finding someone to talk to about these things. Maybe someone who has been through this? Strike a conversation with a senior graduate student. There is no use being timid in America. What is the worst they can say? They have no answer?

Hope it helps bhaiya!

db